Rolex

As a successful high net worth individual, it is important for me to reward myself. I simply deserve to celebrate my successes, such a comfortable Wall Street bonus larger than the average person’s annual salary. Fat cats enjoy fancy feast, a moist and delicious meal in every can, and Rolex is my fancy feast. It is important for me to broadcast that I can afford a fancy watch, so that women want me, and men want to beat me, I mean be me.

Omega

It’s pronounced “Oh-mee-gah.” I am so sophisticated that I may very well be European, or have lived in Europe for a semester abroad in college. I love James Bond, Cindy Crawford, and space exploration. I need a fine watch from an instantly recognizable brand but I can’t be bothered with wait lists. Did you know that co-axial means the axials are 25% more efficient than single axial? Let me explain to you what an Spirate is, contrary to popular opinion it has nothing to do with pirates. See you on Omegaforums and the Fratello comment section.

Cartier

I am an elegant European, possibly French gentleman who dispenses with conventional notions of masculinity. My sense of style is at least 10 years ahead of you peasants. Marie Antoinette said let them eat cake, I said let them wear Cartier Musts. Circles are boring and conventional, rectangles and other shapes are far superior in every sense of the word. Au revoir.

Grand Seiko

Don’t call me a watch blogger, I identify as a watch journalist. I started with the SKX but I wondered, if Seiko can make this for a few hundred, what can they do with a few thousand of my hard earned dollars? I enjoy nature and Zen almost as much as I enjoy textured pastel colors. My license plate says “Zaratsu.” When I finished my tour of the Grand Seiko manufacture at the base of Mount Iwate, I bowed and said ARIGATO GOZAIMATSU! Everyone was very impressed with me and bowed back, and I thought I saw the oil painting of Phillipe Dufour smile a little.